Elf-napped (A Filthy Dirty Christmas) Read online

  I open my mouth to ask which book, exactly, he’s reading, but he lets go of the sash to press his two fingers over my lips. “Just a moment. Let me finish reading.”

  I have to stifle a laugh. This is the same face I make at Reba when she interrupts my reading.

  A part of me wonders if I will ever see Reba again. It’s not sadness I feel, but I do sense the loss. It’s strange how neutral I feel about it, which disturbs me.

  I feel sad that I don’t feel anything more than that.

  I cover the elven fingers that press against my lips. I need to be reminded that I can, in fact, feel things. I kiss those fingers as he reads.

  Eldrin’s black eyes glitter, and his stony lips twitch. The heat from his hand warms my lips. I put the tips of those fingers between my teeth and scrape, watching his eyes hood.

  There can’t be any human bedroom eyes that look half as sexy as elven bedroom eyes. It feels like seducing a god in the middle of some critical work, and it juices me up.

  I gently lick, watching his nostrils flare.

  With the slow slide of my tongue up the underside of his middle finger, I show my lover what I would do for him. Taking the cue, Eldrin curls his fingers into my mouth, and I welcome them in. Sucking, teasing the tips with my tongue. The ever-present glow in his face brightens, and his eyes darken. He now appears less human and more monster, and I could not crave him more.

  I pop his fingers out of my mouth. “Tell me what you’re reading, El.”

  He opens his lips, baring his teeth. I feel like he’s about to give orders. Make me kneel and take it out. And I would. I would spring him free and take all of that in my mouth and let him drain his essence down my throat and choke me with it.

  But he doesn’t do that. Instead, the intense light in his hands dims back to normal, and his hands cupping my face nearly singes me with its heat.

  “Clara. I know what I have to do now. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for criticizing your inquisitiveness. That’s not what you are to me.”

  “And do you apologize for saying I’m fragile? And for neglecting to tell me before the sex happened that in your culture, we’d already be married?”

  He nods. “I apologize, and I apologize again. But you are not obliged to forgive. In nature, when we damage something, we have to create balance. When someone dies, someone else is born. When we hurt, we heal. So if you’ll let me.”

  I would never have expected this man, or creature, to kneel in front of me. “Clara. You are none of those things. You are not exhausting. You give me life. You are not a headache; you are a balm. Fragile? No, you are far stronger than any creature on this earth. But one thing I cannot make amends for is claiming you as my queen. That, you still are and always will be. I am sorry for not telling you that the mating ritual means we are wed before you consented to it. I’ve been very clumsy from the beginning. Cast me aside if you must, but just know that we will be linked for eternity regardless. You may move on, but I will live in misery.”

  I fight hard to control my smile. “Is this speech something you learned in one of those books?”

  “Yes. Is it working?”

  “Possibly. What else have you learned?”

  “That I should be giving you an entirely different type of tongue lashing.”

  Oh god. That long tongue. Not gonna lie. I kind of want to see what that does to me.

  “Let’s proceed, then,” I say.

  Eldrin, still kneeling, opens my coat, buries his face between my thighs, and inhales deeply.

  “The scent of my elven queen.”

  Did he say, elven queen? He’s deluded. I can’t just turn into a creature like him.

  And at the moment, I don’t care because his oversized noggin is nudging my thighs apart. His face nuzzles my sex, making me slick with need.

  With a deep growl that vibrates up my spine, Eldrin bares his teeth and takes my long johns between his teeth. As if made of tissue paper, the fabric shreds under the strength of one quick tug.

  A blast of icy air chills the newly exposed skin of my lower half, but I immediately forget the cold because my elf king is in control of my body. His hands grip my thighs and swiftly hooks my legs over his shoulders, burying his face in my sex.

  I gasp. “Oh. Here? Outside? Oh…okay.”

  I’m not entirely sure what to do with my hands, as nobody has ever done anything like this to me before. So, I reach up and hold on to a tree branch while Eldrin kisses and teases my split with his lips and tongue.

  I feel him everywhere, and not just my groin.

  My coat barely covers us from the full view of the woods, and anyone walking by will see what’s happening. I figure this is just a bit of play before the real thing, but then his tongue splits me open, and he nestles his face…right…there.

  Holy shit.

  I bite down so hard I might split my lip. The noise that comes out of my mouth is drowned out by El’s primal growls and snarls. I wouldn’t have thought such a high-born creature was capable of sounding so beastly.

  “Oh my god,” I gasp as his tongue dives into my entrance.

  He hums his enjoyment, the vibrations doing scandalous things to my body.

  I arch my back, and the coat falls open. I look down and see that dark braid. I reach my hand down, take hold of it, and grind my body against his face. I might die if I don’t get my release.

  But when I open my eyes again, we’re no longer in the woods but back in Eldrin’s hovel, the crackling flame and the soft glow warming my skin.

  I don’t think anything about this situation could surprise me anymore.

  Until he rises to his feet. Gasping, I grip the braid tighter. My thighs clamp over his ears. Anything I can do to hold steady, I do it.

  If I fall off of him, I might break my neck.

  But if this is my last moment in life, maybe it’s worth it.

  Chapter Ten

  Eldrin

  My Clara’s taste is, incredibly, even better than her scent. She has permeated every part of my being. Her essence on my tongue intoxicates me. She is more potent than the most poisonous plant, and I may drown in her nectar.

  One tongue is not enough to explore and please all of her in all the ways I want to please her.

  There is time. Not enough time, when one compares a human life to that of an elf. But I will not ruin the moment by thinking of that inevitable soul-crushing pain.

  I am full of knowledge and understanding now. The kissing, the hugging, the cuddling. Even the talking. It finally makes sense.

  Clara’s muscles clamp down on my tongue, and the rest of her trembles.

  I back my tongue out to find the taut, erect button at the top of her slit.

  When I savor her there, Clara’s reaction almost sends the two of us toppling to the floor. She needs to writhe on me, rub against me. I move us to the bed to give her more control and safety, gently lowering her onto her back.

  “Take off the coat. Let me see and taste all of you.”

  I will stop at nothing to make sure I am attached to Clara in every way.

  As my mouth lays waste to her core, my Clara comes harder than the last time. This Christmas elf shall wreck the sweet human for anyone else. Further, I intend to ruin her for sex toys. A clit sucker? What’s that? Me. I’m the clit sucker.

  After I’ve drawn out another orgasm from my queen, I must have more.

  “Clara. I want to try something I read about—“

  “Have at it, El,” she interrupts, kissing my lips, now coated with her essence.

  I lie down on my back and pull Clara over me to sit on my face. She faces my legs, her hands resting on my torso. And I am in heaven.

  “Oh, my god,” she breathes.

  “Massage me while I drink from you,” I command.

  I tongue kiss her swollen, wet folds, and her nearly-limp body twitches to life again.

  “Should I hover? I don’t want you to suffocate, El.”

  She makes me laugh. “To me, you weigh nothing, tiny human. Smother me with your pussy.”

  Heat races through her veins. I can smell it. The joy of knowing I can speak to her and make her heart pound — it is indescribable.

  But it’s nothing compared to the vicious devouring of each other that follows: the accompanying obscene noises, her moans, her squirts, her shattering climax. When I think neither of us has anything left to give, there’s always more.

  That’s when my Clara gives me the gift of her sweet mouth on my cock.

  Her lips wrap around the tip and take me in, while at the same time, I fuck her with my mouth. It seems like we are one creature, both giving and receiving. I feel my soul elevate from my body as she rides my face.

  She uses me like a candy cane, and I can barely stand it. Yet, I don’t want her to stop.

  “Clara,” I exclaim, my voice muffled between her folds.

  She keeps going, slowly. Soon, we begin to buck against each other, having built each other up to a level of desperation I didn’t think was possible. Finally, I reach down, giving in to the urge to grab hold of Clara’s hair.

  My free hand lifts her off my face, and I hardly have the breath to speak. “Clara. I don’t want to hurt you, but I must….”

  Her mouth pops my erection free, and she gives me her approval. “Yes, king. Pull my hair and fuck my mouth.”

  With a growl, I wrap her hair around my fist and do what I need to do with her.

  “My gods. My queen is not a human but a goddess.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Clara

  I have no idea how long I’ve been trapped in here with my elf, now my husband, apparently.

  My prison has become a love nest, and one I never want to leave.

  Now that I’ve figured out that there are no doors, and we simply flit in and out at Eldrin’s command, I couldn’t just walk out anyway.

  My elf and I have spent long hours trying all manner of wicked delights, carefully avoiding any more “inseminations,” as El puts it.

  Sleeping next to someone who radiates heat is a dream for someone like me, always cold.

  El is so sweet with me, wrapping me up under a pile of blankets, insisting I use his body as a mattress.

  “I must feel you on me at all times. When I drift off to sleep, I will panic if I wake up and don’t feel you nearby.”

  The truth is, I find it endearing and wonderful.

  “I have been on many dates with men I’ve met online, hoping I had met the one. This last one with that guy was the worst ever. But then I met you, and it turned out to be the best. Maybe I should send Daren a thank you note,” I tease.

  El growls. “Your pissant date is not welcome in these woods, or he will be subjected to a far worse punishment.”

  I giggle. “So sexy when you’re surly like that.”

  My husband rolls me over and caresses my belly. “And you should be punished too for coming to my woods to choose a Christmas tree.”

  I sit up in bed and stare down at him, ready to defend myself.

  “I wasn’t planning on stealing any of your trees. I’ll have you know I meant to choose a tree from the farm. Totally above board.”

  I see the evil grin on El’s face and know he’s teasing me. I wish there were hair on his chest to pull because I would. “You’re becoming a little too human with your teasing,” I say, tweaking a nipple playfully.

  There are long hours spent talking in front of the fire, eating his tremendously satisfying elven food, dozing in his magnificently soft bed. But my favorite part is drifting off to sleep with him reading to me aloud. He reads to me from memory, any book I can name. If he hasn’t read it, the trees provide it to him. It’s too strange, magical, and romantic that I never want this life to end.

  And still, in the back of my mind, I know, someday it will.

  One morning I awaken to El drawing designs on my back with his finger.

  I smile and tell him he’s giving me chills.

  “Can you guess what I’m writing?”

  “Is it English?”

  “No,” he says. “I’m asking you a question in Elvish.”

  “If it’s not Tolkien Elvish, then I’m lost.”

  I wait for him to dismiss the author’s invented language, but he doesn’t.

  “I’m asking you if you’d like to venture outside to find a Christmas tree?”

  Rolling over to face him, I tell him I have no desire to cut down one of the trees from the Elder Woods.

  “No,” he says. “Not one of mine. I mean, would you like to finish your date to the farm with me?”

  I don’t know how he does it, but he just made me fall in love with him all over again.

  “What made you want to ask me that?”

  He smiles wide. “Because it’s Christmas Eve.”

  Donning our elven winter cloaks—and I’m surprised to see that El owns pants and a shirt—we hold hands and prepare to leave our home in search of holiday cheer to make the space even more festive.

  To our shock and surprise, two figures in hoods step inside the hovel, out of the cold.

  I shriek, and El pulls me into his side.

  When the two figures lower their hoods, the two familiar faces look back at me and smile serenely.

  I think I might pass out.

  “Reba? Deacon?”

  I can’t believe my eyes.

  “What are you two doing here?”

  Reba and Deacon exchange knowing looks.

  “I guess I’d better explain,” Reba starts.

  Eldrin turns to me, looking sheepish.

  “You know them?” I ask him.

  He looks from me to Reba. “I think you should tell her.”

  “What is going on?” I insist. “Somebody better start explaining!”

  Reba looks at Deacon, and he glances back in both apprehension and excitement.

  I take in the full vision of my best friend and her fiancé and the stunning clothes they’re wearing. Reba wears a royal blue coat covered in glittering precious stones, with a collar and cuffs of ermine. Her braids crown her head in an unearthly design I can’t even describe, and it too glitters with tiny gemstones that have the effect of freshly fallen snow. Her boots are leather and lace up the front. Deacon is similarly dressed and holds a bag in his hand.

  “We came bearing gifts. It’s Christmas Eve.”

  Deacon says this as if that clears everything up.

  “I’ll explain everything. But first some tea, and a seat by the fire,” Reba says.

  Chapter Twelve

  Eldrin

  Clara sits with her hands covering her cheeks as she listens. While I knew that Reba and Deacon were half-elves condemned to live as full humans for no reason other than they were not fully elves, I’m learning more now. I didn’t know they were secret underground messengers between the human and the Elven worlds. And they’ve come with shocking news.

  What Reba explains is this:

  After I left the North Pole five years ago, the Uncommon and Common elves united and began to revolt.

  Nicholas was working them too hard. They toiled endlessly; they had no time for family, no time for friends. No time for love or joy of any kind.

  Nicholas didn’t care. He had a workforce of thousands who were practically immortal. Or, at least, who would outlast him. He would live about a hundred more years and already had dozens of children who were suitable candidates to be the heir to the sleigh one day.

  “Well, eventually, the elves had had enough, and they unionized. They floated Santa out on an iceberg along with his wife and said adios,” Reba says, miming a wave goodbye with her hand. “Then today, they voted for a new Nicholas.”

  She looks right at me as if she’s preparing herself for the next bit of information. She draws in a deep breath. “They voted for you, El. They want you to be the next Nicholas.”

  Clara has many questions, surprising no one.

  “You’re a part of all this? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It was never the right time to tell you. Would you have believed me if you had not experienced…all of this?” Reba gestures around the room as if the very air is magic.

  Clara warily shakes her head no.

  Reba goes on. “So when I heard our friend here was exiled for his little obsession, and I found out why, I came looking for you, Clara.”

  “You knew this entire time? That’s why we’re friends?” I don’t like the scared note in Clara’s voice, and I slide my arm around her and pull her back into my side.

  “Have you wondered why I haven’t aged in the five years since we met?” Reba asks.

  Clara ignores this question. “But if you decided to help him, why did you send me on all those dates?”

  Deacon wheezes, stirring his tea.

  “You have something to say over there, Chuckles?” Clara barks, and I have to stifle a laugh because I know she’s frustrated and wants answers. I don’t blame her.

  Deacon finally answers. “She was matching you with the worst of the worst to drive you to El eventually. Sooner or later, you would get mopey and end up at the tree farm to cheer you up with some holiday fun. All you needed was a little push.”

  “I have to take a walk. I need some air.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Clara

  “I don’t understand why you are so upset,” El tells me when we transition to the outdoors. I’m pacing back and forth in the snow.

  I whirl around to face El.

  “Clara, your cheeks are flushed with cold. I want to pick you up and take you back to the fire, but I feel like you need to say something to me first.”

  Nodding, I reply, “I’m upset. My roommate has been orchestrating my life for years, just to lead me to you. None of this was my choice. Do you understand how manipulated I feel?”

  “Very well. You may leave. You have a choice.”

  “I don’t want to leave you.”